Its about time..

... i posted again.

This week, ive been sick. Not really really sick, just a little under the weather. Well, apart from yesterday when i woke up early in the morning, sweating like a pig in a blanket, shaking like a mad woman and feeling like the exploisive in my head was in 10 seconds to count down mode. And yet, i still had to work last night. Not to worry though, i lived to tell the tale.

Take Off

I went to watch the children i teach english too in there school musical Monday. Funny. I arrived at 7.25, show started at 7.30. Never mind worrying about sitting next to noisy children, worry more about the imature adult who insists on laughing, making funny noises and tickling his kids the whole way through. To be honest, im not really one to talk. I spent most of my time pulling faces at the kids on stage and laughing at the struggle to keep shtum. Take Off (the name of the musical - unless you were wondering) lasted only 1hr. There was then an interval for 15 minutes and the second half of the show began. Talent. Or lack of.. the first 2 girls on stage sang a song which was pretty good i guess.. then there was an accordian. Yes - you heard correctly. People actually play that thing. After that a lad went on stage to conduct a game hosted on de lamas. Basically, 4 people have to leave the room, the audience picks a person, a weapon and a crime scene. One by one the people come back in, each having to guess who commited the crime etc.. WELL, the person - Pamela Anderson. the weapon - Her boobies. the crime scene - McDonalds. You can imagine the cherades going on throughout this game. Hosted by 10 year old kids.

Mortens Birthday

Monday was Mortens birthday, you can read more about it on Inekes blog (sorry - link is on my side bar) We had such a nice morning with presents and stuff - and lots of delicious home made apple tart. At least i got the important bits in there!

Ok, well thats all for now chaps!

Another little rant..

OK, so i know ive been ranting a lot recently.. but i really have to say this.

I called an anti-kraak organisation this morning. To begin with i was put through to 4 or 5 differnet people. When i finally got to speak to somebody, this is what i was faced with.

'Hi, my names Rachel Cornford, i wondered if you could talk me through your anti-squat accomidations'

'PardON?' (Yes - ON is in capitals to put the emphasis where she did.'

I repeat the above line.. my names Rachel.. etc..

'Ik spreek nederlands' (said in a who the frig do you think you are to call this number sort of way.)

'OK, well could i speak to somebody that speaks English please?'

'Well, you didnt explain that you were English did you? you just went right ahead and spoke it'

So what may i ask was her little outburst all about?!?!


So now i am starting to get a little pissed at the way she is talking to me

'So you do speak English?'

'Yes i speak English'

'OK, well could you tell me about the anti squat accomidation you have please?'

'i have no idea what you are talking about - i think you have the wrong number'

At this point - if it was possible, i would have dived down the phone and put a stake through her heart. (OK, so maybe thats a little over dramatic..)

'No, i definatly have the right number, i was refered to you by a friend, i want information about the anti squat accomidation you have'

'We dont have anti squat accomidation, we get you to fill in the forms and put you on a waiting list'

Sorry - correct me if im wrong but has she not just completely contradicted what she said?

'Ok, well could you tell me how to go about it then please, where i get the forms etc..'

'Everything is on the internet - goodbye'

Everything may well be on the internet.

The internet is Dutch.

Seriously, some people are so rude.

Did you know....

OK.. so i have completely copied this idea from Ineke but i am pretty sure she wont hunt me down and eat me for breakfast.




So.. Did you know...

• Me and Jack went to a party in Utrecht last friday evening. It was soo good, there was about 60 people there, therefore very busy but it was nice to do something a bit different to what we usually do, plus i met a few new people which is always a bonus!!


• My Dad thought Utrecht was the name of a nightclub.


• I got the job at O'Sheas.. Wahoo.


• The electric went at Inekes a couple nights ago.. only in my room and her room. Convinient seen as they were the only two rooms that electric was actually needed.


• I found the upload disc for my MP3 player this morning.. allowing me to actually charge the bloody thing. Seriously, how much hassle has this little white cube cost me!!!


• Me and Jack are still in the process of looking for a flat. On Monday we should have 400 euros in our savings. We need 2100. Donations welcome.


• Mortens English is surprisingly brilliant. After our little translation session with Timo and Caroline, i think he felt rather proud of himself, boasting on the fact his English was better than theirs.


• My Dutch lessons are going well.. simple, but well..


• My Dutch teacher is trying to set me up on a TEFL course (i think thats right) to enable me to teach British English abroad.


• I have had so much to blog about over the last few weeks but havent had the enthusiasm to write anything worth writing. Hence the bullet points.

And last but not least....

• It is Inekes birthday on sunday.. she is going to be 41.. I think we are going to Hotel New York for breakfast on Sunday morning (However, i am not so sure i am still invited!!!)

OK.. so i haven't been blogging to much lately, i have got loads of exciting stuff going on in my life at the moment.. i just don't have the inspiration to write about it..

I had my job interview at O'sheas.. i have my trial tomorrow.

Me and Jack are still flat hunting.. not going to good.. we have found loads, but they are all available immediately.

We are going to a party tonight in Utrecht, should be good.

Think that's about it.. see.. i really am struggling to elaborate on my life!!

P.s....

Sorry about the lack of link list, i really have no idea how to add one to this new template.. here is Inekes blog link.

http://itaintmuchifitaintdutch.blogspot.com

Its worth reading. She can be rather amusing.

UNDER CONSTRUCTION!!

Please bare with me...

The Post Office

I opened a Dutch bank account 2.5 weeks ago.

Oh how i wish i never bothered.

After queing in the 'pick a number line and wait your turn' for half an hour i was told i needed to queue at the information desk. So after another half an hour i opened my account and was told a letter would arrive with 2 weeks for me to collect my bank card. Super.

So, one week and 6 days later i am in town. I therefore decide to pop into the post office on the off chance that my card will be waiting for me. So i queue again for half an hour at the information desk. I give the lovely gentleman my information.

'Yes madam, your card was made yesterday'

'oh great, can i have it then?'

'no'

'erm.. ok.. why?'

'You need to have recieved the letter to tell you your bank card has arrived'

'well.. i know my bank card has arrived.. you just told me it has..'

And so on.. the conversation continued.. ok.. so i go home. Sure enough the letter is waiting for me on the door step.

So.. i go back the next day, i queue for yet another half hour, speak to the same man, only to find out this is the wrong letter. This letter gives me information about my bank card, and sure enough i need the letter to explain to me that my bank card has arrived at the bank, just incase i dont already know.

Yes, you guessed it, i get home and the letter is waiting for me on the door step.. yes,, the right letter this time.

So i go back the next day. The bloke that served me before isnt working today, so after another long wait i speak to the other guy who informs me i have just queued for a rediculously long time at the wrong counter and could i please pick a number and wait in line.

(Why, may i ask did the other bloke not think to say, 'Oh by the way miss, when you finally do come to get your bank card, with the correct letter, you need to pick a number.' Would that have been so hard?!)

So i pick a number.. i wait in line.. I'm told i'm at the wrong bank.

End of story.

Just a quickie!!

Just to let you all know that i am still alive and well, am visiting England at the moment so will update you when you when i return!!!

My Dutch Birthday!!

Well, my day began with a spot of present opening!! I really wasn't expecting this as we already had a wonderful day planned to celebrate my birthday but still! whos complaining!! Ineke, Robbert and the children bought me some amazingly comfortable and lushus flip flop, my hunt for them failed so Ineke helped me out!! Along with a box of Celebrations and of course.. after eights!! Ineke either forgot, or liked the idea that they make me incredibly hyper!! Anyway! who needs alcohol!! I was then handed a light silver bag. Incase i hadn't already recieved enough i then opened a gift voucher to get my hair done and a salon in the centre!! I'm thinking of maybe going blond.. Like Golden, not Bleach.

Ineke and I then began our City Safari. In the mail you recieve a list of three destinations and times in which to be there.

Our first was to visit a Morrocan Lady who served us a lunch of bean soup and filled pittas. Whilst eating we sat in a special room lined with special sofas with a special table in the middle with special pictures on the walls. It was a religious room. Thats the word.

Our second stop was visit a lady who would reveal our inner most secrets. And thats exactly what she did.

Last but not least we visited a modernised Mosque!! After thinking we would be shown around by some tall guy with a beard and hat we were surprised to see a young beardless guy in trackies!! He showed us everything, from the prayer room to the toilets! Although this bit was hard for me to understand as the Dutch spoken was on a topic i was not familiar with, the translated information was very interesting!!

After having such a lovely day Ineke and Robbert took me to Hotel New York for a meal with the children. After starting the evening with a glass of champaign next to the river I ate a mushroom ravioli with a truffle sauce accompanied by a baguette and crouton salad whilst Ineke and Robbert shared a mixed fish platter with everything from prawns to snails, lobster to oyesters and many many more paculiar species. Yes people. It has to be said. I ate a snail. Well half. And i more of swallowed it like a tablet than physically ate it.

I really did have such a wonderful birthday, it couldn't have been better.

CHEERS!!

Full Stop.

Click Link.

Sign Petition.

Live happily ever after


Online petition - KEEP NEIGHBOURS ON THE BBC

Things that really nark me..

People walking along the bike lane... Can you not see theres a path right next to it? If it wasn't for the huge possibility of falling off my bike i would bash there ankels.

Leering men... Sleeze balls.

Running out of shampoo... Remind me check next time before I soak my hair.

Having no change for the strippen card machine... Seriously now.. make a note slot please.

Watching half a film... To find the other half has been scratched.

People who wear sandles with there toes hanging over the end... Your gross.. either buy bigger shoes or tell your feet to stop growing.

To be continued..

Bit of a Bummer!

Please excuse the punned title!

Let me set the scene for you..

It is a beautiful day in the Heart of Rotterdam.

A young lady, feeling rather summery dressed in a 3/4 length white skirt, top and white jacket mounts her bike to share lunch with her boyfriend.

Whilst on her journey she encounters a problem.

After trying to pull her skirt up at the back she realises her butt is exposed to the world. Yes. The zip has infact broken. Still clipped at the top but leaving a rather revealing naked strip down the middle of her arse.

In this poor girls state of shock she cycles in to the curb, almost toppling over, gains her balance (butt cheeks still on full display) stands up and immediatly backs against the nearest wall. After a few seconds of bright red cheeks (HaHa, which cheeks?) and intence laughter a 50 something gentleman asks me (sorry.. the young lady involved..) what is wrong and if there is anything he can do to help. The situation is then explained followed by the 'do you happen to have a safety pin' question. After this kind gentlemans rummage through his van he continues his search in the long row of offices she has backed up against.

After a long wait the gentleman re-appears with a paper clip. A paper clip I tell you!! What the frig was she suppose to do with a paper clip!!

Anyway, so the lovely young lady tries out this over sized paper clip, only to get it caught in her underwear at which point the kind man offers to help her untangle it!!!! Well!!!

After disconnecting the paper clip from her underwear she continues on her journey to meet her boyfriend (who may i add found the whole situation rather ammusing.)

They then went to his place of work to sort the problem. Unsuccessfully.

After much diliberation the young lady decides to just tie her jacket around her waste and have a look around the town.

Just when she thought it was over, her flip flop broke.

Leaving this poor individual to walk around exposing not only her butt to the world but also her bare feet..

The agonising, bare-footed walk back to her boyfriends work was topped by the wedge of glass dug deep into the heel of her foot. Once removed she continued her journey (cycling home bare-footed, needless to say) to arrive safely at her place of rest.

Yes, incase you were wondering, I am the young lady in the story.

These things can only happen to me.

Would you like to help me?

I have started a peice of writting and would really appriciate some feedback on it. Chapter three is about to begin so if you would like to be a kind citizen and proof read the first two chapters for me then either comment or email me and i shall send them too you.

Please please help me!! Both good and bad feedback would be more than welcomed!

The End

I have finished both Wives and Lovers and The Shining.. My profile just wont let me change anything at the moment.

I am now reading Wild Swans.. the heftyist (if that is even a word) book i have ever seen. Good though.

50 things you maybe don't know about me

I have been reading a blog this week that has kept me so engrosed to my screen. One of the posts this certain blogger produced was a list of 100 facts about her.

Now i am pretty certain that i will not be able to come up with 100 but i shall see how far i get..

1. I love eating coco pops for breakfast - nothing to do with the taste, i just like to see the milk turn chocolatly.
2. I often where the same socks more than once. When one only owns 4 pairs, it is pretty impossible to do otherwise.
3. I've been meaning to get my tattoo now for the last 18 months but am too indecisive.
4. I really hate the day after it has been snowing and the ground is all sloshy and brown.
5. I have a little lump on the side of my head which has been here since the week i moved to Holland.
6. I love the freshness in the early morning air, but very rarely experience it.
7. I would rather go out without make-up than jewelery.
8. I always over-estimate how long something will take me.
9. I have a serious shortage of friends in the Netherlands.
10. I dont know the difference between the Netherlands and Netherlands Antillies.
11. I think i know more Dutch than i actually do. Usually i just speak English with an accent.
12. I hate using non-applicator tampons.
13. I am joining a gym this evening.
14. I thouroughly dislike trying on clothes in the winter.
15. Love or Money - Love.
16. I hardly ever have credit on my Mobile.
17. I have a form of exzema behind my right ear - only at certain times of year though.
18. I love to sing. But can't.
19. I love Rotterdam and everything about it.
20. If I won the Lottery I would pay off my families debts and then buy a restauraunt for Jack to chef in and me to manage.
21. I love to read but rarely find a book that grips me.
22. If i could rid the world of one thing it would most definatly be bitterballen. Well after Rape, Murder and Poverty.
23. I have four freckles on the top of my back. I like them.
24. I have my ears peirced twice on my right ear and 3 times on my left.
25. I have just eaten way to much Ice Cream.
26. I can't stand the taste of southern comfort after collapsing in Torquay.
27. I have never taken any harmful drugs and only tried Cannabis twice.
28. Both times where discusting.
29. I believe that people who are incapable of having a good time without the use of drugs and alcohol need to seriously consider councelling.
30. I do not know how to use a language dictionary properly.
31. My skin very rarely tans to a decent extent.
32. I love candles but vary rarely light them.
33. I find ironing theraputic but detest using a hoover.
34. When i concentrate my lips change position without me realising.
35. I am in shock i have already managed to list this many things.
36. I really wish i had my own unique fasion sence. But i don't.
37. I have tried Ostrich only once, but really enjoyed it.
38. I hate the sound of people brushing their teeth.
39. And the carpet being scraped.
40. I miss my dog. I never thought i would admit that.
41. When me and Jack are grown ups we will have a fish called Nemo and a bird called Nigel.
42. We will eventually have the whole Nemo clan.
43. I am really narked about my bike key (see previous post).
44. I can't take a shower if my room is messy.
45. I love to draw but very rarely do.
46. I used to be obsessed with Myspace.. until i was introduced to the bloggers world.
47. I hate waiting for the bus.
48. My patients varies depending on the time of day. And the person.
49. I love to paint my nails but never have the patients to let them dry.
50. Now, my friends, is time for some chocolate.

OK.. so I have a bad memory..

Right, well I have completely forgotten what the other two posts were that I was going to post. Hate it when that happens.

I just have to stress my disbelief..

There i was inocently browsing the internet when i came across this song.

I remember seeing them on 'The Sharon Osborne Show' a while back but seriously didn't think they would ever have a video!!

Thought i would share it with you, i really don't need to say much more other than they are named 'Fanny Pack' and the song is called 'Cameltoe'

Fannypack Music Video Codes

Now Playing: Fannypack - Cameltoe
Brought you by: Music Codes

What were they thinking?!

Just to make you Devon Dumplings jealous..

There is thick snow here!! By the end of the day the snow should be about 10cm thick on the ground.. i think that is right anyway, I possibly misheard Ineke..

Anyway, so to celebrate i am taking the children to the Stadhuis ice rink!! They have never been Skating before so should be an experience!!

I'll let you know how it goes tonight.

You really have no idea how cool this is.

My 'Inner European' might be Dutch but i'm proud to be British!!

Here are a few reasons foreigners may think were a little strange.. however i firmly believe you should be proud of your Country!!

• Only in Britain... can a pizza get to your house faster than an ambulance.
• Only in Britain... do supermarkets make sick people walk all the way tothe back of the shop to get their prescriptions while healthy people can buy cigarettes at the front.
• Only in Britain... do people order double cheeseburgers, large fries, and a DIET coke.
• Only in Britain... do banks leave both doors open and chain the pens tothe counters.
• Only in Britain... do we leave cars worth thousands of pounds on the drive and lock our junk and cheap lawn mower in the garage.
• Only in Britain... do we use answering machines to screen calls and thenhave call waiting so we won't miss a call from someone we didn't want totalk to in the first place.
• Only in Britain... are there disabled parking places in front of a skating rink

What is your Inner European?

OK. So this is wierd. I clicked on this site with all different mini questionair thingys, this one being, What is your inner European?

Ok, bare in mind.. i didnt actually fill in the questionnair!! but when i clicked on the question the answer automatically popped up!! How spooky!! Look what the answer was!!

Your Inner European is Dutch!

Open minded and tolerant. You're up for just about anything.

Who's" Your Inner European?