My Dutch Birthday!!

Well, my day began with a spot of present opening!! I really wasn't expecting this as we already had a wonderful day planned to celebrate my birthday but still! whos complaining!! Ineke, Robbert and the children bought me some amazingly comfortable and lushus flip flop, my hunt for them failed so Ineke helped me out!! Along with a box of Celebrations and of course.. after eights!! Ineke either forgot, or liked the idea that they make me incredibly hyper!! Anyway! who needs alcohol!! I was then handed a light silver bag. Incase i hadn't already recieved enough i then opened a gift voucher to get my hair done and a salon in the centre!! I'm thinking of maybe going blond.. Like Golden, not Bleach.

Ineke and I then began our City Safari. In the mail you recieve a list of three destinations and times in which to be there.

Our first was to visit a Morrocan Lady who served us a lunch of bean soup and filled pittas. Whilst eating we sat in a special room lined with special sofas with a special table in the middle with special pictures on the walls. It was a religious room. Thats the word.

Our second stop was visit a lady who would reveal our inner most secrets. And thats exactly what she did.

Last but not least we visited a modernised Mosque!! After thinking we would be shown around by some tall guy with a beard and hat we were surprised to see a young beardless guy in trackies!! He showed us everything, from the prayer room to the toilets! Although this bit was hard for me to understand as the Dutch spoken was on a topic i was not familiar with, the translated information was very interesting!!

After having such a lovely day Ineke and Robbert took me to Hotel New York for a meal with the children. After starting the evening with a glass of champaign next to the river I ate a mushroom ravioli with a truffle sauce accompanied by a baguette and crouton salad whilst Ineke and Robbert shared a mixed fish platter with everything from prawns to snails, lobster to oyesters and many many more paculiar species. Yes people. It has to be said. I ate a snail. Well half. And i more of swallowed it like a tablet than physically ate it.

I really did have such a wonderful birthday, it couldn't have been better.

CHEERS!!

Full Stop.

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One of my English students told me I sound like Lilly Allen.


As much as I like her music I am quite happy to sound nothing like her when I speak.

Guess this takes us back to the whole am I posh? Post.

Actually, i really dont care, and you shouldnt either.

The way we speak is part of who we are. If you would like to think me posh, go ahead. Likewise, if you would like to think of me as some common english bird, you are more than welcome to do so.. buyt I may put up a fight on that one..

Just a little slide show..

Things that really nark me..

People walking along the bike lane... Can you not see theres a path right next to it? If it wasn't for the huge possibility of falling off my bike i would bash there ankels.

Leering men... Sleeze balls.

Running out of shampoo... Remind me check next time before I soak my hair.

Having no change for the strippen card machine... Seriously now.. make a note slot please.

Watching half a film... To find the other half has been scratched.

People who wear sandles with there toes hanging over the end... Your gross.. either buy bigger shoes or tell your feet to stop growing.

To be continued..

My Reading list since February

Man and Boy by Tony Parsons

The Time Travellers Wife by Audrey Niffenegger

Wid Swans by Jung Chang


The Shining by Stephen King

Wives and Lovers by Jane Elizabeth Varley

Keeping Faith by Jodi Picoult

Perfect Match by Jodi Picoult

P.s. i wrote this post purely out of boredom

The drama of the MP3

OK, so I have finally ordered, recieved and managed to work my MP3 player.

Let me explain.

Last night me and Ineke sat down to order my beloved MP3 player, super duper fantastic. The order has gone through.. or so we thought. Ineke then rang the help desk who informed us that the supposedly next day delivery wont actually happen therefore i have the option of collecting it from the shop or waiting for its delivery. What he failed to mention was that actually i couldnt collect it from the shop as my delivery will come from a different location. However, after the 40 minute journey to the shop the bloke said he was able to cancel mny order, refund the money to the card and start again. So, i did come home with the MP3, after paying twice.

Aftre arriving home, me and Robbert successfully uploaded the required software, plugged in the usb cable to find it didnt work. I tried everything. I called the help desk 3 times, reset the player, downloaded some other stuff from the website and tried again. Failed and went back to the shop.

After the bloke behind the counter had finished uploading the software to his computer he enlightened me that actually it is working for him therefore it is my computer not the player..

I then went home, tried everything i could think of, to finbd the installation disk had been left at the shop.. Fan bloody tastic.

Back to the shop i go..

Arrived home safely and have managed to get my mp3 player to work on Inekes laptop.

MP3 is now charged. Songs are on other computer. Lovely.

MP3 Player. No music.

Bit of a Bummer!

Please excuse the punned title!

Let me set the scene for you..

It is a beautiful day in the Heart of Rotterdam.

A young lady, feeling rather summery dressed in a 3/4 length white skirt, top and white jacket mounts her bike to share lunch with her boyfriend.

Whilst on her journey she encounters a problem.

After trying to pull her skirt up at the back she realises her butt is exposed to the world. Yes. The zip has infact broken. Still clipped at the top but leaving a rather revealing naked strip down the middle of her arse.

In this poor girls state of shock she cycles in to the curb, almost toppling over, gains her balance (butt cheeks still on full display) stands up and immediatly backs against the nearest wall. After a few seconds of bright red cheeks (HaHa, which cheeks?) and intence laughter a 50 something gentleman asks me (sorry.. the young lady involved..) what is wrong and if there is anything he can do to help. The situation is then explained followed by the 'do you happen to have a safety pin' question. After this kind gentlemans rummage through his van he continues his search in the long row of offices she has backed up against.

After a long wait the gentleman re-appears with a paper clip. A paper clip I tell you!! What the frig was she suppose to do with a paper clip!!

Anyway, so the lovely young lady tries out this over sized paper clip, only to get it caught in her underwear at which point the kind man offers to help her untangle it!!!! Well!!!

After disconnecting the paper clip from her underwear she continues on her journey to meet her boyfriend (who may i add found the whole situation rather ammusing.)

They then went to his place of work to sort the problem. Unsuccessfully.

After much diliberation the young lady decides to just tie her jacket around her waste and have a look around the town.

Just when she thought it was over, her flip flop broke.

Leaving this poor individual to walk around exposing not only her butt to the world but also her bare feet..

The agonising, bare-footed walk back to her boyfriends work was topped by the wedge of glass dug deep into the heel of her foot. Once removed she continued her journey (cycling home bare-footed, needless to say) to arrive safely at her place of rest.

Yes, incase you were wondering, I am the young lady in the story.

These things can only happen to me.

Window Cleaners

Just a thought..

I wonder how many people they have caught in the act?

Easter

In Holland we have two easter days. Strange I know. As expected Jack had to work both of them. On the bright side this meant he had Saturday off, first time for everything.

Our weekend started with a trip into Ridderkerk on the back of a bike. Well, me on the back and Jack riding it. After a hunt for some super-stylish but also bug-like sunglasses we stopped for lunch. For those of you who know me, especially my mother and Jack know i have a tendancy to strop about things that aren't important. Such as the stoopid woman in the new Bread&Butter cafe in town who gave me crappy bread with my lunch.

Now, what annoyed me about this was as i was reading the menu i asked Jack if you can chose which bread you would like, he said he was not sure but he would ask, went up to the counter, ordered our food and came back. So, why may i ask did he order a fantastic crusty roll with his and i got some funny little fluffy thing???? Was not ammused. Got quite stroppy. We had a little lovers tiff. Then realised we were having quite an intence arguement about a bread roll. Laughed. And ate.

So that was that.

We then went to the new Ice Cream parlour next door, three scoops each please, white chocolate, tiramasu and cookie dough for me please and cherry, pineapple and some other flavour that i fail to recall for Jack. Super.

Straight after this (OK so maybe not the most magnificent idea) we went to the funfair. Couple of topsy turvy rides a complaint of slight sickness for Jack and a bike ride home.

Saturday night Jack went out for a poker evening with his friends leaving me engrosed with the film Twister and The Mummy Returns.

Bringing us to Sunday.

Waking up bright an early me and Jack left for Rotterdam, him to work and me to Ineke's.

Ineke's family came over, her sister with her husband and 4 children, her mother, two aunties and cousin, along with me, ineke, Robbert and the 3 children bringing it to a grand total of 16. Thankfully the weather was beautiful so we ate delicious pizza curtousy of Robbert, sat in the garden and tanned ourselves.

Sunday evening i went to Coconuts to meet Jack. Now, Jacks mother gave me a lovely dress, black and white, long sleeves, short skirt. I would say it is a classy dress, not slutty. Unless you wear it to ride a bike. Which, of course i did. I have to say, I am pleased Ineke wasnt about to snap a pic of this one!!!

Altogether i had a really lovely easter weekend.

Monday Monday..

OK, so although i am still not 100% sure why Mondays where invented, mine seem to be getting better. I woke up around 7.30, was a huge struggle but the thought of being able to make it back to my bed within the hour was satisfying enough to get me up in the first place. Went downstairs, sorted lunches and breakfast and off i went back up to bed. Infact, i slept until 12.30. A very welcomed sleep.

After getting up, making myself look at least half presentable, doing a wash load and conquering a few shirts that needed to be ironed i left the house to get the kids from school.

Now, as i have told you before, Mondays are Judo days. So after the usual routine of getting home from the school, going through the whole 'mag ik televisie kijken' 'nee! het weer is heel leuk! buiten spele!!' (ok so my Dutch isnt all that good, i am pretty sure i am going to be corrected on that one..) eventually giving in and letting them watch tele for a few minutes whilst i get the bikes out of the shed.. only to find Timo's is missing.. bugger its still at the school from Friday.. OK, its only 3.20, we have five minutes before we have to leave..

'schoenen en jas aan alsjeblieft!!' so we ran over to the school, Caroline trapsing behind, grab the bike, run back, load the buggy to the back of my bike and off we go to Judo.

So that was that, how fantastic.

Anyway, Monday evening i went over to the office to do some cleaning, to break up the evening i had a visitor, 5 infact. 5 14 year old boys. One of which had dropped a top off the balcony upstairs and wanted it back from the office garden (the cat has just done a really smelly poo in the litter behind me.. blimey it stinks!) anyway, once these kids find out i am English, they obviously want to stay and chat,

'can we come and watch you work'

'No'

'do you fancy my friend? he wants you to be his girlfriend'

'sorry, i think you may be a little young'

'i may be young but my **** is mature for my age..'

'at which point i say my goodbyes and close the door'

Bought a little amusement to my evening anyway!!

Once the office was all spangly clean i went to Coconuts, yes, at about half past 8, jack didnt finish until 11.30, leaving me in the company of jerome, nermin and the security guy. Was a very funny evening, and they laughed at my blimin hilarious joke that nobody else found funny. i would enlighten you on it but its in Dutch and doesnt make sence if translated to English, sorry guys.

So, that was my monday, fantabulostic.

Lets spice things up

So, i thought i would spice my blog up a little with a few photies.

Lets start with this one.. Haven't a clue what possesed Caroline to pull this face, shall try and convince her not to do it again!! Wonder who she gets it from.. Ineke or Robbert?

Morten and Timo getting kitted out for a a rather intense Roller blading lesson..

..and Robbert giving it his all!!

Morten trying to mimic Dad and Timo looking on with a somewhat disgruntled face..

After a hard day on the road Caroline settled down for a fair portion of Kiwi, beautifully modelling the hat I slogged away to make her.

Just realxing after a dinner, here you see Morten fabulous crown also!